Mindful Parenting – Mindful Parenting is being mindfully present with the children without judging. True, judging makes you worried, angry, tired and even overwhelmed.
‘I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6‘ and today’s prompt is to Feature a day your life or someone else’s life.
We Indians are worried more about the future than the present moment. In this plight to succeed in everything we fantasize that we forget to live in the present moment.
In fact children succumbing to games like the Blue Whale incident recently tell us only this – we are ready to give the best amenities to our children, give them gadgets and even a lot of money – However what they most want is our time and attention.
I am still trying to understand one thing – the blue whale game they say is a game that stretches around 50 levels. Even if a child were to complete 3 levels everyday it would take 18 days to complete the game.
And do you think a child can go unnoticed with certain scars or mental stress at home for a whole 2 weeks?
Did the parents miss out something here?
Don’t you think being present is important as a parent?
Mindful Parenting – Why You Need To Spend Time With Your Kids
I know I keep over-emphasizing on mindful parenting, well, not that we as parents do not spend time with our kinds. However is that time a quality one or a quantity one is the thing that differentiates us being a mindful parent and not.
Just think of a day like this – you are with your kids from morning till evening with your laptop on one side and your mobile on the other, you kids are watching TV, you neither are giving a damn to watch TV or look at your kids – is this spending time?
It is not easy with so many things going around and deadlines to be met. however spending quality time with kids is of paramount importance – otherwise more blue whales and you tube channels will fantasize them into doing things which might become irrevocable.
Mindful Parenting – Is It Even Possible
This is one thing I keep getting asked, “You keep telling us about mindful parenting but is it even possible to spend time with children without judging. Be there but don’t get involved in anything else – we are human after all and our mind wavers off.
Well, this is where the practice of mindfulness helps you – when you get trained to concentrate on your breath, your heartbeat or the sound of music you find it easy to concentrate the time you are spending with your children.
Mindful Parenting gives you space to understanding your children. This is important for you to mindfully guide their future, find what is good for them and what interests them most.
Children sometimes behave very differently and we think it is because of some external influence. Yes it is true to a great extent- it is due to external influence, however it is also because you have failed to influence enough so that the external influence can be nulled off.
Mindful Parenting – How To Start
Begin with slowing things down – “Oh! You have not got me, right?”
Don’t impose on the kids to be perfect – it is okay to get up a little late, if he/she wears his dress mismatched or spills something on the floor, it is okay. Learn to accept things as they are and relax a bit.
Think before you shout or overreact. It s okay if your child is a little lazy on a day or playful with his daily routine.
Begin Mindful Mornings
Try beginning your day with a five minute mindful practice.
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Close your eyes and Bless you child and begin with a slow visualization of his daily routine. I prefer doing this as soon as I get up, sometimes even before I physically get up.
You will find that not only you are less stressed with the mindful mornings session , you also change as a person – positively of course.
Get children to follow you every morning, let them be guided but take care not to enforce too much, its a practice and will come naturally to them – let them take their time.
Let Them Decide On Their Likes and Dislikes
I know sometimes you feel it is too early to let your children decide for themselves, believe you life will become less complicated if you practice this particular skill. We always think children are beings that are totally dependent on us because we are parents and their sole guardians.
It is not so, just let them choose and you will find they do a lot better than what you had actually expected.
Be there and relax, you sure would be able to learn that parenting is a lot more fun if you do not become an autocrat.
Also, choosing everything for your child will make him only a copy of you, giving that space brings out the real person within the child (I have found siblings copying one another because the parent shows appreciation to one child alone)
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Have A Separate Family Time
This is very important to spend quality time mindfully with children , make sure to allocate a seperate time to be with family. It may look a bit of uncomfortable in the begining, but with time you would get used to going to the hall or study room exactly at that time.
I for one have this 6 to 8 pm as a time I spend with my kids. It is their study time but we do more talking and less studies (we study seriously only during exams:) )
On sundays you have a lazy movies time or a picnic and so on – it is just that you need realize that the children are given space.
Just Follow This
When you feel that you are overstressed or anxiety is taking the better of you, just stop, if you miss a day nothing is going to happen. The world will continue to be the same for you. Just stop.
Take A Breath
Control yourselves, take a breath and slowly calm down. Your children are the ones who will remember you after you pass away, the world that seems like competing you, praising you, triggering you and so on will forget you the moment you drop down dead.
Your memories will live only with your children (and siblings of course) so make sure you leave behind something to cherish. The money you save up and give them without good memories would only make them feel bitter about you.
Take time and check if you are right, find where you are wrong. Make sure you are with less stress when you are observing yourself. This is very important as a mindful parent.
Now that you have come to the mindful mode make sure you have understood the time and where you exactly are.
So you are done