Parenting is a skill.But what about overparenting! Here is the second post for the contest!
There is a fine line between the two which parents should understand clearly. Overparenting is being so worried about the safety or success of your children that you do too many things for them and prevent them from being independent.
Are you the sort of parent who wouldn’t dream of letting your kids play outside on the street?Or you contact the class teacher for less marks or u put your child into lots of co-curricular activities to make him a super kid.
Overparenting is the term now used to describe a situation of being so protective of our children ,so desperate to see them to succeed in life that we will do everything in our power to help them on their way and avoid anything potentially unpleasant.
Overprotecting can start from babyhood,with newborn nestlings to protect them from ‘germs in the atmosphere’ or not to taste some kind of food so that they may develop some allergies.In childhood they accompanied to school,classes with parents or driver in car to avoid rush in the school bus.In teenage parents do everything to complete their projects,help in seeking internship at some known company.
The tendency of overprotecting is due to families getting nuclear and disposal income getting increased,parents are able to afford more and hence provide kids with all possible comforts of life.
This gives parents a sense of preciousness of their kids and more money to spend on their upbringing.Due to today’s media they get influenced by the dangerous and unpleasant situation and there by foster unnecessary fear about child’s safety.
I want to share some incidents what I have gone through in my neighbourhood. I had a neighbour where the couple had a beautiful 8 yrs daughter. Both the parents were throughout goldmedalist. So they wanted their child to be like that only.
They do’nt allow their child to play in the park as their was sand and mud.When there were exams the environment of their house was like some kind of curfew.The result was her daughter use to fall ill frequently.The doctor adviced them to let her play in the park,mud and sand with other kids because bodies immune system is weak.
PARENTING SKILLS TO AVOID OVERPROTECTING
1. STOP OVERGIVING – Nowadays parents provide each and every thing available to their kids whether they need those things or not.May not be true for all,but it has become a rat race to give kids everything.Kids must understand the value of things and can be given when they really need.
2.Kids should explore the world on their own.Parents should send their children on field trips organised by school or take the kids with them so that they learn to share,play with other kids.Too much time spent on t.v or mobile takes away the basic creativity in the kid.
3.Kids learn by being innovative.Let them play with moulding clay,drawing,colouring,building blocks,puzzles etc. without instruction.This will help kids discover their innovative self.
4.Parents can encourage the kids to be optimistic.To resolve their problem on their own whether it is to learn something,problem with friends or dealing with teacher.This will help the kid to take the decision of their own.
5.Parents should motivate their child to seek opportunities. Whether to perform on stage or giving answer in class.Tell a kid its OK to try out for the school play though they may be shy.Celebrate the efforts and learning than “big wins”.
6.Parents should teach their kids there daily chores like cleaning ,dusting,helping in house chores so that they learn how to work with others.put small responsibilities and appreciate them for doing so.this helps to build decision making in kids.Help them understand world does not revolves around them and people who do their own works turn to be a successful person.
7.Parents should teach their kids the communication skills.kids need to learn how to manage conflicts without stomping and screaming,talk with them about saftey issues.explain them why they are not allowed to do certain things.Parents can do this by communicating with kids at all ages.
8.Parents can teach kids to help others .This will cultivate a sense of doing for others.
9.Allow kids to participate in discussion for house budget to trivial things like choosing furniture.
You dont have to do away with the smartphones and the piano classes.Just be sure you to leave enough time for you to help your child to cultivate all these skills they can learn at home that will serve them when they will leave the nest.