I have always wanted to be a progressive woman! And I think I qualify in many ways as one!
However This Diwali proved to be an eye- opener to me in many ways that one. Yes! I watched Ae Dil Hai Mushkil!
Karan Johar always interests me. Who could evade the nostalgia of lovely romance and dreamy songs!
And that was the first reason for me to choose ADHM over Shivay for this Diwali.
Well! I was not ready for the insights and irks that were to happen as I was watching the movie.
I could easily overhear people puzzled over the skin show and steamy scenes of Aishwarya Bachchan.
They could not accept her to be acting in ‘what they are not able to compromise’ scenes with a person who was far younger than herself.
Oh! Give Me A Break – She is an actor and acting is what she is doing – on the screen.
The Indian Mindset
I do not think I needs to write anything on this. It is not a secret or a topic that has not been discussed earlier.
However I personally feel it is high time we let go of the Prejudice and begin giving women their space.
This is not a sole case of the Twinkling Town- it is widespread everywhere.
It is said that
‘ A woman Need to Work Twice Harder Than A Man To Reach The Same Heights in Any Profession’
‘An Indian woman On The Other Hand Needs to Work Four Times Harder’
Mary Kom! Our Indian Boxer and her fight against this very prejudice is not unknown.
The limitations of The Indian Bahu
The Bachchan Parivar gave a miss to ADHM. Why did they do so?
Sources claim that the Bachchans were not comfortable with the steamy scenes of Aishwarya and Ranbir.
So! Do we feel comfortable?
No not as much comfortable as when we see Jennifer Lopez for Julia Roberts on screen (skin show and lip lock).
They are married women too!
They are mothers too!
We look at them as Foreign Actors and our Actors as Indian Bahus
The Indianness is what makes it how differently we see a person in our mind.
Be it the bhachchans or any normal Indian citizen, all of us feel than an Indian bahu should be treated as one – BAHU!
There are limits for her, limits which we have made through these hundreds of years.
ADHM vs Jazbaa
The Bachchan family turned up for Aishwarya’s comeback vehicle, ‘Jazbaa’ and also backed her during the screening of ‘Sarbjit’ but it is shocking to learn that they didn’t turn up for ‘Ae Dil Hai Mushkil’ screening.
Aishwarya was also missing for the screening, just making us feel she must have felt guilty?
Who makes one feel so – Guilty?
It is also rumored that unhappy with the intimate scenes between their bahu and Ranbir, the Bachchans also expressed their dissatisfaction to Karan.
Indian Men Vs Indian Women
Was there any last time when someone got baffled to see an Indian – married man, father or even grandfather act in steamy suggestive scenes?
I have not come across, nor is there any hiss from the crowd. However when it is a female everyone combines her work and ‘Ghar’.
Come on- lets change this view, lets wear a equality glass.
‘Pink’ to some extent did get deeper than the skin and has slowly is percolated our Indian Minds.
A social change is required – Letting the Indian Bahu be herself and not inside the limits drown by the society
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Thanks Vasantha! our society though has moved ahead in a lot of ways, still remains the same when it comes to women. And it is so sad.
True Milan! Betis and Bahus are always seen with different parameters, thanks for stopping by
Nice post! every bit a truth right from beginning to end. The post shows the hypocritical thinking of Indians in true light when it comes to betis and bahus.
Thought provoking post, Menaka !!! I didn’t have a chance to view that movies. But the view you mentioned was quite true. Its high time for the change in the mindset of our society.
You have told the truth Nidhi. The plight of stars are so bad just think of common woman. I really feel so bad about this situation
Amusing isn’t it. Ash could’ve been Ms.World and spent years perfecting her acting chops – but an interesting role gets in the way of her getting her in-law’s approval. Even more amusing (Not actually) is the fact that the entire family is made up of actors!
Thanks Deepa, In India Bahu is always below Beti,people don’t even think their Beti would go as someones bahu.so better treat bahu well
True Bushra!there is a cage within which married women need to work
Thanks Saumy!!!I am happy that you understood what I tried to convey.
I have not seen the movie but heard a lot about it. You raised a very relevant topic- why only Indian bahus? Sadly, our society thinks that way but agree there is a need for change. Loved this post menaka 🙂
isn’t it true Mandavi!
yeah indian society set up boundaries & limitations for a woman …its mindset of our society as well woman are being stereotype in their role …very well written post 🙂
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Some very well made points, Menaka! I haven’t seen ADHM yet but yes I know what you’re trying to convey thru this post. And must say, you’ve delivered the message beautifully. Kudos! 🙂
True Mandavi! however here it is seen as Bahu first and actress next, that is the real problem
Thanks Rohan! I hope the Indian Mindset does change and change for good!
Bang on. An Indian women needs to work 4 times as much to prove her worth. She is à n actress and if she chooses to portray her character, it’s her choice.
One of the best post I have come across on this topic. I liked when you have questioned the Bachchans for not attending the premiere. Also, the mindset needs to be changed that a married girl is not a girl/women but a bahu and has to do things within boundaries.
We tie our heroines with our culture Amrita which they are not able to be free from
Men think they have a career n what women do is just time pass
The ‘Bahu’ emblem makes it inevitable to be both a good actor n have a career shalzz
Spot on, Menaka! I was wondering the same. I loved Ash but I never what the hype was all about regarding her role. I even read that Jaya Bachan insulted her for taking up the role. Heights!
Very valid point Menaka! We make such a hue and cry about the “bahu” and the respect of the family. What about the man? When he does steamy scenes why doesn’t it diminish the family’s reputation? Double standards is what it is, and it’s about time it changes!
I liked how you made the review much more than just a review .It was an interesting reflection of our societies double standards.Brand image unfortunately is important. Ash has a very pristine image ,that’s why the skin show may look awkward for her fans.But not so in the case oF some other heroine with different body of work.
Enjoyed the analysis
The moment you become Babu the whole meaning of you changes. Some even change their name..isn’t it a pity?
Thanks Suman! Stereotyping female actors is like a formula in Indian cinema ..married ..then mom n sister roles . I too am not an Ash but the role did make me think
Exactly my thoughts..where were all these people till the release date
You are spot on. We need a change in mindset, like yesterday.
very well written !!
I love the way you have questioned the mindset of the bacchans and us as the audience to be so uncomfortable with our”BAHU” to be doing steamy scenes. One question, where were these in-laws when she was reading the script or shooting the scenes? was she forced to do them? or did she hide this from them while signing the script? I ts just to boost publicity for the film that such nonsense comes out – and yes its damn hypocritical of us to be ok seeing a septugenarian romancing a nubile thing in skimpy clothes while we shun the same when its the woman/bahu
Points well made! We make such a hullabaloo about a married woman being in bold roles as if they are defined only by their marital status. Although I am not a fan of Ash, I laud her for breaking the stereotype – burdened also by being the Bachchan bahu – and doing what she did. I haven’t watched the movie but I think it is high time we looked at female actors as talented people and not their status in personal life. all the best for the rest of the challenge! 🙂
Another super post, Menaka!
You’ve shone the light on the typical Indian Hypocrisy with this topic. The rules have always been different for Men and Women and Beti’s and Bahu’s, and isn’t it sad if after all the efforts put in making her comeback to her profession not only was her role rumoured to have been chopped, but that her family avoided the most important day of her life by skipping the screening?