Children’s start lying by 3 years, when they understand that we cannot read their mind. It’s surprising to hear your child lie for the first time, as it’s a part of child’s development. As they grow older they lie more. Kids learn to lie from family as well as outside world and also media contributes a lot.
Children when they are young are immature and often lie to grab attention. I am sure everyone lies, but think of the lies you told when you were a kids yourself? The reason can be that telling lie was easier than telling the truth. Yes, this is the reason why we all lie, or we were scared of our parent’s reaction to the truth. It is necessary for the parents to teach that honestly paves way, by telling those stories to them, and that telling lies hurts the feeling and emotion of a person. Children tend to learn white lies also from the family. White lies are basically the lies which do not hurt anyone, like saying that the dish made for dinner was delicious but actually was not.
REASONS WHY CHILDREN LIE
- Scared or fear of telling the truth to the parents
- To get something that has been forbidden, like if for example the child is forbidden to have more than a chocolate a day, and the kid goes to his grandparent and tell them that he didn’t have any chocolates and want some.
- When they are caught doing misdeeds, like breaking a vase and when you ask them “who broke”, the instant answer will be “not me”.
Most of the parents forget to teach the children about trust. When the child trusts their parents then lying is out of question. We parents once know that our child is lying, we stop trust them. We might even label them liar, which is not good. By labeling them liar, they tend to lie more and be dishonest. Parents should try to understand the reason why the child lies. Parents should not encourage the child to lie, when the child starts lying, we should prevent it and encourage them to tell the truth and reward handsomely for telling so.
TIPS FOR ENCOURAGING HONESTY
- Parents should sit with children and ask what the problem is, instead of blaming them.
- Parents always tend to take their examples and provoke the child to do the same. This should not happen. Parents should not compare the child with anyone’s life or their achievement. This will only bring complex to the child and will de- motivate him even more.
- Showing trust on the child is more important. Like if the child gets hurt and come home, instead of screaming at him, a parent should first confront him and enquire about what happened, than screaming at him.
- Parents should not be too strict with their kids. Kids are seeing the world and his friends and his family, where there are not many restrictions. Thus the child tends to lie. The more you impose rules over the child, the more the child would like to break it. Be flexible but not too lenient too. You should have limited rules for the family as all rules are not favorable for all situations.